My friend Cay has been lighting a lot of candles lately. She's keeping vigil for friends who need her prayers. In her latest post she writes:
"I'm a sucker for candles. I guess most Catholics are. Candles represent so much. With a mere flick of a match, a room can be transformed into a reflective and meditating place when we need it to be (think "scented candle and bubblebaths") or a romantic getaway (think "weddings and romantic dinners") or a happy and joyful canopy (think "birthday candles")."
I'm a sucker for candles too. For all the reasons Cay so eloquently stated. All candles are not sacramentals. But because some candles are, there is something inside me that spiritualizes all lit candles. My thoughts are automatically lifted to heaven when I see the flicker of a candle. I think that's why I love having them in my house and why I buy them often. Like the two new ones I brought home the other day that I purchased from my nephew for a fundraiser.
I needed a use for those candles. That thought was skipping around in my brain while my heart pondered some of the things I took away from my retreat this weekend, the primary one being a desire to sanctify the work of my every day life, to make it holy by making t prayerful. The two ideas collided in a happy meeting and a new plan was born (you all know how happy plans make me!): the cleanliness candles!
I will readily admit to you all that I am woefully inept at housework. Just when I think I am juggling all my balls well, they all come crashing down upon me, leaving a huge mess in their wake. I know an easy plan to keep a clean house. It involves shooing children and husbands away, replacing prayer and reading times with "mommy work", working through tea time, and opting out of evening family time. And it makes me a woeful, pitiful Cinderella stereotype in my own home. The result of which may be a clean home, but is not a joyful home or a holy home.
I have a cleaning schedule. My family is not aware of it. It keeps me focused and aware of what I need to touch on to enjoy some sense of order in my home, to keep our space comfortable and gracious without turning me into an unpredictable mix of Cinderella and her wicked stepmother.
While the schedule keeps me focused, it doesn't do much in the way of inspiration. I need something to remind me to sanctify my every day life, to make the mundane holy by keeping a prayerful spirit as I work. My two new candles are now my inspiration.
When I get up in the morning, I light the vanilla one in the kitchen while I carry out the daily kitchen and laundry tasks. Then I move it to the next room until the day's tasks are finished there. I keep the lights off in the room where the candle is lit. If life prevents me from getting the work done right away, every time I pass through that room, the sweet scent and silent flicker remind me to come back. And I want to. When I do get to that room to carry out my work, the atmosphere is slow, reflective. I hum praise songs or sing to the accompanying children. I remind the kids of their prayer intentions of the day when I assign tasks rather than barking out orders. That little candle helps me remember to strive to make that moment holy.
I light the red candle in the room that needs deep cleaning that day. It stays lit until the tasks are done. Each time I walk through the room I am reminded to wipe something, tidy something, dust something before I go.
It's working quite well. And I think Cay's thoughts about why we love candles so much clued me in to why. What is the point of a clean home? It is so there are spaces in my home that cultivate peace, for prayer and reflection. And so there are spaces that appeal to my spouse, where affection can be expressed and romance enkindled. And so there are spaces where the happiness and joy of children can be expressed in play and laughter and learning. That's the stuff of holiness, of sanctity, and that makes all the work worthwhile.
And should I forget that, my little flickering "cleanliness candle" is there to remind me that it's not really about cleanliness, it's really about peace, joy, and love--it's really about holiness.