Yesterday was a downright ugly day in Louisiana. It rained had all day. It thundered. There was a tornado warning. It was a perfect day to hunker down, stay in, and cuddle up. And that we did. There was some morning housekeeping, time for prayer, and then a full morning of picture book read-alouds and beeswax sculpting. I was the recipient of a most lovely beeswax amaryllis. We spent the afternoon perusing the bird books in our nature study basket and playing a grand game of make-believe. We are making soup together in place of our baking time this month (we could all stand to lay off the baked goods for a while). The boys, who grew up with our penchant for Asian foods chose Egg Drop Soup as their first recipe. This blossomed into a grand Asian feast that involved our whole family; we rolled California rolls, wrapped spring rolls. grilled Teriyaki chicken, and made soup. We feasted and cracked open fortune cookies and giggled at their ridiculous assertions. There were warm baths and at bedtime, a heap of brothers giggling their way to Dreamland with Daddy leading the procession.
That is a wonderful day, yes? And according to my own aspirations, I should have gone to bed with gratitude echoing deeply in my soul.
But I failed myself. I went to bed listing for myself the Litany of All Things Left Undone, chastising myself for leaving dishes in the sink and laundry unfolded, feeling like the worst housekeeper on earth. And I woke up this morning chastising myself for chastising myself last night instead of being grateful. It was time to stop the madness.
As I prayed this morning I begged God to help me in the area of expectations--to expect less and appreciate more. He reminded me of the Holy Family. Their life was a life of simplicity. They would never have expected to do all we did yesterday in one day, it wouldn't have been possible. They didn't expect wealth, perfection, or a checked off to-do list. But they did expect Christ--the miracle of Him truly present at every humble meal, every laundry day, and each bed time. Because their expectations were simple, they could appreciate so many simple joys with grateful hearts.
God taught me something today. This lesson about simplifying is not only about the things--the de-cluttering, the chore list, the school plan. It's so much deeper, more profound than that. It's about simplifying me. I have to de-clutter the expectations that crowd Him out, that leave me feeling defeated at the end of a day filled with simple joys rather than grateful. To whom am I trying to be gracious in this whole endeavor? If it's not Christ first and foremost, then I will fail every time. I am happy to be a daisy, but I only want to find myself at Christ's feet when my petals are in full bloom and all the weeds are pulled. He, on the other hand, wants to bend down to where I am when my petals are ruffled by the hands of a child and the garden is not quite in order, and sanctify that moment with His presence. If I deny Him the opportunity because I have not met my own expectations, I am being anything but grateful and gracious.
Today and every day I will continue toward my goal of simplicity, with my heart at the top of the list. And I will remind myself that in every task completed, Christ is present. And that the only to-do list He cares about is the one that lists: KNOW HIM, LOVE HIM, SERVE HIM. He gives me ample opportunities to do that every day in many simple, humble ways. For that, I am GRATEFULLY GRACIOUS.