Willing and Eager

From the day's First Reading:

"Tend the flock of God in your midst, overseeing not by constraint, but willingly...Do not lord it over those assigned to you, but be an example to the flock.  And when the chief Shepherd is revealed, you will receive the unfading crown of glory."

It doesn't get much clearer than that, does it?  There is no question for those of us who live in families which flock of God we're to tend.  The question needing to be answered is a matter of the heart.  What keeps us from tending our flock willingly?  What makes us irritable, short-tempered, and overwhelmed?  What makes us want to run away from it all for a few hours or day or....What prevents us from being an example to our flock?  In my experience, when I find myself fussing, pointing my finger, and honing in on my family's shortcomings, it's usually because I'm feeling the sting of my own faults rather acutely.  What brings on those episodes in your life? Lent is  a time to remove the blocks in our lives that keep us from following God with our whole hearts.  God's will for us and our path to heaven are to tend the flock of our family willingly and eagerly.  What is in our way?  There's still enough Lent left to get rid of it. 

For me right now, the answer is STUFF.  We've got  to get a handle on the things in this home that are crowding our time, our space, our thoughts, and our hearts.  When we were serving in foreign mission, it was quite obvious that stuff was a detriment to following the will of God.  You definitely cannot get on a plane and go where God calls if you've got too much stuff.  In those days, everything I owned fit into a few rubbermaid bins and four large duffel bags.  Now clearly, managing a life here and keeping a home asks something a bit different of me, but over time, I have forgotten the point of one of the most important lessons learned by our missionary service: stuff gets in the way of our saying yes to God.

In my home, stuff is not a problem because I can't pack it all and get it on the plane, but because I can't organize it all and still tend my flock well.  If in order to keep any semblance of peace in my home, I have to huff around scooping up stuff and rearranging it constantly, stuff is in the way of God's will.  If the thought of having morning prayer with my kids or snuggling on the couch for read-alouds panics me because the mess in the living room robs me of my desire to serve my family, stuff is in the way of my service to God.

Over and over I have talked myself out of this being the problem.  Over and over I have reasoned that I just needed more containers and bookshelves (stuff for my stuff).  And over and over I have found myself lying in bed at night feeling like a total failure because of the state of my stuff.  Even on a day when we have prayed together, learned together, played together, I can often find myself guilt-ridden at night because I was not able to manage my home as I think I should.  If stuff is in the way of my experiencing God's love and mercy, it's definitely the problem.

I am giving up lying to myself about that for the rest of Lent.  I am facing my stumbling block dead on.  I am going to follow a plan to determine the purpose of each room of our home, find a place for the things we need to achieve that purpose, and eliminate the rest.  I am going to work on forming better habits for myself, then lead my little flock by example. 

And I am going to tend them, their hearts, minds, and spirits, before I tend the stuff.  I don't want to be the shepherd who lost his sheep because he had too much to carry.  I'm laying down my burden, all this stuff, and taking up the staff that will win me the unfading crown of glory.   

Comments

[Maria Ashwell]

Wow, I posted something very similar this week. I'll be praying for you as I struggle with my own "stuff". And boy go I get that guilt, even at the end of good days. Wow.

[Michele Quigley]

That was really insightful and beautiful Colleen - thank you for sharing your thoughts.

[Jennifer]

I just wanted to post and let you know that I printed this out and read over it while I was making lunch for my kids, and read it again while I ate my own lunch. And, even though I suffer with the reality of having too much "stuff", and I know it's in the way of my being a good shepard to my folk (I really love that), the biggest "stuff" in my way of my service to God is myself. I'm the "stuff". It was very enlightening to read. It was sort of a light-bulb moment. I took various sentences from your post and put my will and myself in there, and could see where and why things weren't working in our day, and in my life. Thank you so much for posting this. I shall keep you and your goals to declutter your home and soul in my intentions!

[Matilda]

When we were at Mass this morning, after I had just yelled at my children in the car because we were late due to looking for stuff like coats and hats and gloves, I heard Father read, "Do not lord it over those assigned to you, but be examples to the flock" and right then I knew who I should have yelled at. My, myself and I.

This was a very lovely and timely post!

[Marilyn]

What a beautiful post Colleen. I have printed it out. I do not get to read your blog too often - but whenever I do I feel so inspired. Thank you!

[stef]

Thank you so much for this, Colleen. Our Lenten resolution was to get rid of STUFF, but we haven't made much progress. I needed the reminder. You really spoke to my heart here -- God bless!

[Ouiz]

Are you sure you haven't been secretly "listening in" to the conversations at MY house? *grin*

This has been my battle, over and over again, for years. The weariness, the depression, and lack of peace that comes from having to organize all the "stuff" in our home is just too much.

My goal for this year is not to complain about lack of space/house size, but rather to pray that God would show me how to "travel light" and use the space He's given us.

Thank you for a wonderful post!

[DeAnn]

I usually spend a lot of time beginning January 1st praying and thinking about Lent. This year, when I prayed, I clearly heard, "Simplify...get rid of stuff...let go" I tried to ignore it, thinking I must be mistaken, because surely I'm more attached to chocolate than to the stuff in my closet and my basement. I couldn't, however, shake the thought of purging throughout Lent. I finally gave in and made it my resolution to purge...declutter...get rid of stuff. I have made two trips to the Goodwill so far and plan to go again tomorrow. It's very freeing and humbling...letting go while realizing how much space, time, and money I have wasted. Anyway, I could write a book, but I'll spare you. I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one trying to get rid of stuff and get on with life during this Lent season. May God Bless your efforts!